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Discipleship in the New Age II - Personal Instructions to Disciples - I.S.G-L.
November 1944 MY BROTHER AND MY FRIEND: What I have to say to you today hinges upon one single question: Are you ready to pay the price which the taking of the next initiation entails? All accepted disciples are preparing for initiation. All are therefore under test. You know that you are preparing for initiation; you know which initiation it is. It is because of this preparatory period that the past three years have seen you seriously tested, and tested in every aspect of your nature. There is, nevertheless, little that I have been able to do for you because loneliness is one of the assets and also aspects of this work of preparation. Disciples ever take initiations alone, even when preparing for and taking group initiation. This is one of the paradoxes of the occult teaching which is not at all easily understood. It sounds entirely contradictory but is not so at all. It has not been easy to reach you either, because you have taken refuge from the tests in the work of your own group, rather than in the Ashram. In your own group you have sought forgetfulness [522] and have not sought the protection and the love of your ashramic group. That is your privilege and your inalienable right. I would like, however, to point out to you that it is safer and wiser to take refuge in both the higher and the lower places of service, and to do this simultaneously. One place safeguards you as a soul and the other as a personality. The call of Shamballa, the call of my Ashram, and the call of your own exoteric group (mark those words, my brother) have sounded forth in your ears and you have been bewildered; you have forgotten perhaps that if you stand at the midway point (which is my Ashram) you have immediate access to both "points of call." I have here given ou an important hint and I want you to endeavor to grasp its significance. You have been drastically tested in your physical vehicle, and that is hard, my brother, because it is difficult to preserve one's equanimity and one's balance under those circumstances. You need, however, to understand better than you do the "distortions" for which physical sickness is responsible, and thus learn more wisely to discount yourself and to pay less attention to the glamorous of the lower self. This would simplify your life, and I told you earlier that simplification was a needed attribute for you. You have also been sorely tested in the emotional nature; surely, my beloved brother, you know by this time that when a definite transition is being made by the soul - as is the case where you are concerned - from one ray to another, that abnormal testing is automatically inevitable? This will be particularly the case when a disciple is moving on to the second ray, owing, to its close relationship with the emotional-intuitive nature, and when also you have - as you know - three first ray controls in your personality equipment. This necessarily engenders a serious problem. You have also been cruelly tested in your mental nature by the war and through your intense grasp of human pain, as well as by your understanding of psychological reactions. These have served to enhance your problem, and your entire emotional and mental reaction to war and its happenings has well-nigh crippled your essential (not your apparent) usefulness. You [523] have, within yourself, questioned the foundations of all things, and life has been most complicated for you - physically, emotionally and mentally. Owing to the dominance of the first ray in your equipment, you have successfully withdrawn yourself from your group brothers; you have considered that they had naught to give you, and you realized that - feeling this way - you had naught for them. Detachment is the path of least resistance for a first ray nature, and (if you will permit me to say so and will accept this statement) indicates definitely the dominance at this time of personality reactions. Your second ray soul does not sanction detachment, and hence the conflict being waged within your consciousness. Yet, my brother and my comrade, the deep and lasting love of two of your group brothers has steadily protected you during this time of trial and of difficulty, as has the love of A.A.B. She asks me not to tell you this, indeed she begs me not to do so, for she is sensitive interiorly to all that affects you. It is, however, right that you should know. So, brother of mine, we come back to the question of the reason for all this harshness in life and to the initiation for which you are preparing. In connection with this I would say: Get back to the "midway point" and to the protecting love of the Ashram. Then the strength of Shamballa to which you so easily respond can safely pour in; then, too, will come the wisdom which will enable you to render better service to the world. See therefore how simple is the message which I have for you at this time, and remember that I told you last year that simplicity held for you the key to all success. You are not truly successful just at present. Simplicity does not rule. Relinquish the thought-forms which seem at this time to stand between you and the Ashram. You will know what these are if you will take three days of quiet retirement and during that time refuse to think about your work, about your groups, their personnel or about yourself and your past activities, as well as about your group brothers. Aim simply to achieve a point of orientation towards me and the Ashram; endeavor to respond consciously to hierarchical impression, [524] shutting out (at least for those three days) every kind of reaction to human happenings. Aim at a point of tension from which new endeavor and new enterprise can become possible. Then rededicate yourself to the service of humanity; reconsecrate yourself to cooperation with the Hierarchy, and regain your early enthusiasm in relation to us and our work. Then again resume your world contacts. There will be three letters which you will find it necessary to write if these days are productive of renewed contact with hierarchical force. You will know to whom these letters should go and what they will state. Take proper medical help, brother of mine. Take time to get the physical vehicle in better condition. The reflex action of the body upon the emotional nature and upon the mind is great. As a psychologist you know this, but fail to apply to yourself what you so helpfully apply to others. Have confidence in my belief and trust in you, and let the remaining years of your life be triumphant in love; let them be negative to criticism; all your group brothers are handling problems equal in difficulty to yours; proffer rich cooperation to them and to the Hierarchy. My love and blessing is ever yours, and this you know.
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